fat.
so fat.
so fucking fat.
sick sick sick.
i am a fat girl.
and it cannot be this way anymore.
so for the next week its nothing but fruits and vegetables...i actually would love an all lettuce diet.
i just want to feel pure again.
tonight at dinner i ordered a grilled cheese sandwich.
it was the first time in 4 years that i had been to a restaurant and ordered anything besides salad.
what
the
fuck
is going on
with me.
a change needs to be made.
i am doing speed on thursday.
i wont eat for the entire weekend.
i have vodka for the comedown.
i have to fast tomorrow.
i just ate an apple and now
i will sleep.
i will dream of the upcoming week.
i am scared of thursday and what it holds.
but i guess this is the ultimate proof...
i am willing to take the most addictive drug out there
just so i can be thin.
i am willing to throw away my life
just so i can be thin.
it will make me pretty
it will make me happy